KEYWORDS

            When I first got a website I heard it was important to have keywords embedded in it to help its “searchability”.  So I wrote a page full of random terms that were popular at the time (“Britney Spears”, “balloon boy”, etc.).  Subsequently I learned that Google would punish you for that, and they’d make your beloved website come up below your dreaded LinkedIn page.

            So this is a revised effort to tell you about my website without shoehorning in keywords to game the system.  I don’t want to get on Google’s bad side - I think they’re one of the best search engines for the money.  (I’m not kissing ass: I have an Android phone and a portable Google dog bowl.  I’m even considering streaming “The Internship”, despite what a Google search of it says, because I’m a Vince Vaughn fan.)

            Obviously I’d like my website to come up first should anyone search my name, so if they want to hire me there’s no middle-man.  And I’d also like to show up in searches for “clean comedians” or “hire a comedian”.  (Regarding the “clean” thing, I’m not a prude - it’s just I can work clean and I need to make more cash.  That’s the reality, so if you feel like giving me flack about advertising I don’t cuss, go fuck yourself.)

            Also, I’d like to show up in searches for comedians in Syracuse, NY.  I don’t live there, but I’m from there, and I like working there and I’m funnier there.

            On a personal note, when I’m not doing stand-up I like to hang out with my dog, who hates cats that play the piano and doesn’t care who is gay.
                                                                                  

                                                                                    Sincerely,
                                                                                    A Belieber
PS – Bing sucks.