My Nigerian Pen Pals
My favorite spam emails are
the get-rich ones from “Nigerian consulates”. Their pitch - in a form letter
- goes like this: “A rich guy with your last name died but had no heirs, so
his bank is going to keep his money. But if you pose as a ‘next of kin‘,
we can split it. Send your bank info to get the ball rolling.” (For a good
read on this, click here: http://www.slate.com/id/2072851
- the scammers are really Nigerian.)I replied, with mixed results:
although no money has arrived (yet), I’ve made lasting friendships. Below
are some correspondences - edited for space, but with syntax intact – with
my replies in blue:
From the Desk of
Oboh Thompson, Union Bank Nigeria Plc. Lagos, Nigeria:
Dear Sir,
Let me start
by first introducing myself properly to you: I am MR. OBOH THOMPSON a director
with the union bank of Nigeria Plc. I came in contact of you in my search
for a reliable person to handle this confidential transaction which involves
the transfer of a huge sum of money to a foreign account requiring maximum
confidence ……
Thanks you
in advance for your anticipated co-operation. Yours faithfully, Mr. Oboh Thompson
Dear
Oboh-
Please call me at work in the USA: (315) 474-8481 {<Syracuse, NY, “Time & Temp” recording}
--------------------------------------
DEAR MOODY,
Sequel to
your response on the estate of Late Engr. Theophilus Baker (Deceased) I now
write to bring you into the real picture of what we are into ……
Please fill the
attached Application of Claim form, stating your full names, your banking
co-ordinates and send to me.
My very best regards, MR. THOMPSON OBOH.
Dear
Oboh-
My printer is broken. Give me a call at (315) 442-5200 {<Onondaga County Sheriff Dept.}. And please felate me. - Moody
--------------------------
DEAR PARTNER, ITS
GREAT HEARING FROM YOU. I CALLED REPEATEDLY YESTERDAY BUT THERE WAS NOBODY
AVAILABLE TO PICK MY CALL. ANYWAY, I WILL ENDEAVOUR TO GIVE YOU A CALL AS
SOON AS POSSIBLE. YOUR PARTNER, MR. OBOH THOMPSON.
Mr. Thompson-
Please call me at my hotel: (202) 986-8400 {<Nigerian Embassy in DC}. Thank you kindly,
Mr. McCarthy
---------------------------
DEAR PARTNER, I
DONT SEEM TO UNDERSTAND YOUR POSITION IN THIS TRANSACTION. I CALLED THE NUMBER
YOU GAVE TO ME. I WAS TRANSFERED TO AN EXTENSION. THE RECEIPIENT SAID ITS
A WRONG NUMBER. PLEASE I SUGGEST YOU GIVE ME A CALL. IF YOU ARE NO LONGER
INTERESTED PLEASE INFORM ME SO THAT I CAN SCOUT FOR ANOTHER PARTNER. I AWAIT
YOUR SWIFT RESPONSE. YOUR PARTNER, OBOH THOMPSON.
Dear
partner-
Please don't scout for another partner. I'm in love with you, Oboh.
And my website needs a few more replies from you to justify posting this.
___________________________________________________________________
Barrister Ahmed
GOODDAY Mccarthy,
I am BARRISTER
ALHAJI AHMED (ESQ) Solicitor and Notary Public. I am the Personal Attorney
to Mr. FREDRICK Mccarthy, a National of your country, who used to work with
Oil Company in Nigeria …..
Please get in touch with
me to enable us discuss further and i will also like you to indicate your
interest by sending your: (a)Full name and address, (b)Your private telephone
and fax number, (c)Age and sex. With these informations ... we will proceed
with this transaction as the next of kin to late Mr Fredrick. Best regards,
BARRISTER ALHAJI AHMED (ESQ)
Dearest
Ahmed- Please call me at work in the U.S.: (315) 474-8481 {Time & Temp recording}
- Moody
-----------------------------
My dear Moody,
How are you doing? Hope fine.
I called your number and it wasn't through. Please do tell me the specific
time to call so we can talk. Please i am still waiting for the informations
i told you to send. Hope to heat from you soonest. Remain Blessed. Barr.Ahmed
My Dearest
Barr- I urge you to felate me.
Sincerely, Moody
--------------------------------
My dear Moody McCarthy,
How are you doing
my dear? Hope fine. Thanks for your mail my friend, I will try to call you
during work time today but my dear, I will like you to send to me your:
FULL NAME AND ADRESS, AGE AND SEX so that i will submit them to the bank
on your behalf as the next of kin to late Mr Fredrick. Please do send the
informations immediately, I will call you 8.am your country time. Hope to
have your informations soonest. Remain Blessed, Barr.Ahmed.
Ahmed-
Because I have my inbox synchronized with an audio alert that I run through
a Marshall stack, please do not email me before 7am Eastern Standard Time
as this awakes me. Also, I can't wait to give you money. That's my thing.
Love, Moody
------------------------------
My dear Moody,
How are you
doing anyway? Hope fine. Infact my dear,i cannot un derstood the whole of
your mail.Please do indicate your interest to me by sending your full name
and address,telephone and fax number,age and sex to enable me submit them
to the bank as the next of kin to late mr fredrick. Please indicate your interest
to me. Hope to hear from you soonest.
Remain blessed. Barr.Ahmed
Dear
Barr Sani-
When's that money coming? I just bought some chemotherapy, and that shit's
expensive. The thing is, I don't even have cancer! I just figured, "why
wait"? Right? Get chemo while I'm healthy, and I'll never get cancer.
The doctors think I'm crazy, but I think it's because they're losing a bigger
payday down the road. And once everyone figures this out, no more yachts
for them! Hey, I'm coming to Nigeria in June. Is it gonna be too hot for
Frisbee golf?
Love me, Moody
___________________________________________________________________
My man Adebayo
Sir,
I am Mr. Adebayo
Peters a Banker with Standard Trust Bank Plc, here in Nigeria. I am an account
Officer to Mr. Gabriel McCarthy, from your country, who used to work with
Shell Oil Development Company in Nigeria……..
Please get in touch
with me immediately as I do not have much time in my disposal. Best Regards,
Mr. Adebayo Peters
What's
your favorite movie?
-------------------------
Adebayo Peter wrote:
Hi Moody,
This is real,
I can send you proof. Expecting to hear from you.
With my best regards,
Adebayo Peters.
Dear
Adebayo-
Please change your email settings to "Include full original message when
replying" or I won't have business dealings with you. This is policy
of mine that is immutable.
Sincerely, Moody McCarthy
------------------------------------
adebayo peter wrote:
Hi,
Sorry for
the late response. I've not been chanced to bring out a copy of his deposit
certificate from his file in the bank. I have attached in this mail as i promised
to do. View attachement for proof of the deposited fund.
There is something
i didn't understand in your previous mail, you said i should include the original
message,please explain better to my understanding.
Brgds, Adebayo
Adebayo-
I'm only gonna go over this once: go into your "mail options" and
look for "settings" or "general options". There should
be an option under "replying" to "include full original message
when replying". Now get in the game, Adebayo!
It's not a deal-breaker, though. Here's my banking info: 1st National Bank
of Gnocchi acct #419 (If anyone asks, my mother's maiden name was "Okoye")
I look forward to your reply, WITH THE ORIGINAL MESSAGE INCLUDED!
remain blessed, Moody
___________________________________________________________________________
The Right Reverend Joe
From the Desk of:
Rev Dr. Joseph Adam No 10 Amadu Bello way Victoria Island Lagos, Nigeria
Telephone:234-803-7140026
My dear Friend,
Good Day.
With warm heart I offer my friendship, and greetings, and I hope this mail
meets you in good time. … It is my pleasure to inform you that you were chosen
to act as next of Kin to LATE ROBERT EBNER, an oil merchant with the Government
of Nigeria until his untimely death six year ago in ghastly plane crash …
You are urgently
required to send to me your Bank name and address, where the money will be
transferred …
Await your
urgent response.
Yours Sincerely,
Rev. Dr. Joseph Adam
Dr. Adam-
Man, I'm just hearing about this plane crash! That fuckin' blows, huh? Anyway,
you sound like you're on the up & up. Unfortunately I'm no good with numbers
- can I just mail you my bank card and password?
Your best friend, Muldoon
------------------------------
Attn Muldoon,
I accept your
condition and i want you to forward the information immediately, i will …
wire the money small smaill into your card. Please i will need your assurance
that you are not going to set on top of this money when it get's into you
bank card, again, i also want you to keep this transaction secret and confidential
because any atom of exposure can jeopodarize all my effort. Finally, i wait
to hear from you again, meanwhile call me for more oral discussion. 2348037140026.
Regards,
Rev. Dr. Joseph
Dearest
Reverend Doctor,
Hey, should I call you "Reverend" or "Doctor"? Or, since
you're trying to bilk strangers, can I just call you "Joe"? Please
call me in the US at my nursing home: (202) 986-8400 (<Nigerian Embassy). Ask for me, Muldoon, and say it's in reference to 419's.
peace on Earth, him
Dearest
Joseph-
I apologize for my skepticism. I know a Reverend would never lie, but a doctor
might. And you're all both! (What kind of doctor are you, by the way? I ask
because my pinky toe has turned burgundy.)
I am anxious to do business. Here is my banking info:
First
National Taint Savings, savings account #419419419419; routing #0419419419
(My online password - if they ask - is "Carmelo")
I hope to hear from you soon. Do you have Instant Messaging in Nigeria? I
hope that's not a slag - I don't mean to imply that you guys aren't up to
speed. It's just - let's be honest here - how much infrastructure can you
create when your primary export is tea made of ground-up elephant balls?
Love, Muldoon
-----------------------------------------------
Hello Muldoon,
I received
the information and i immediately move ahead with the changing of your name
with the fotmer existing next of kin to my late client Mr. Robert Ebnner.
soon i will give you the deposit certificate ….
However, this
is scant albeit, to-the-point biography of my hunble self. My full name is
Joseph Adam I hail from Nsukka and in Enugu State, South East of Nigeria,
Born on April 28th, 1954 into the family of Chief and Mrs. Richard Adam My
father was a school teacher while my mother was a nursing mother sister. They
were devout Christian which I am until today; I graduated from the University
of Nsukka (UNN) with modest degree in Accountant in 1982. However, I worked
with a German Construction firm till the wake 1988 when I went back for my
Doctoring degree. Life to me then was stringent, as I have to cater for my
newly born baby, who later died and my dear Wife Joy Adam whom I got married
to in 1986. Joy my wife is a graduate of agriculture and works presently with
the agricultural research institute Lagos. She is a lover of nature, and heads
non-governmental organization, friends of nature aimed at protecting improving
nature. She is my confidant in all my undertaken and a well devout Christian.
However, upon completing my second degree program, I gained employment with
the Union Bank (PLC). Through my uncle, Samuel Dike. I'm still with the Bank
as an accountant. My marriage is blessed with (3) three children. I am presently
residing at No 32, Don close Aguda s/lere Lagos. I reasonably belief that
this scant albeit, to-the-point biography, would bring about the spirit of
intimacy between us. Finally, we will still need you Full name ans residential
address, to make complete change on your name here to avoild feture problem.
again reconfirm your bank name with address.
Thanks and God bless you. Rev. Dr. Joseph
{He attached
the photo posted at the top of this}
Rev-
Enough with the fruity bio and "spirit of intimacy", alright? For
fucks sake, I felt like I was on match.com reading that tripe! This is business,
bro: I'm looking for a crime partner, not a life partner. Although the dead
kid thing even got to me - a guy who strangled a prostitute once. (It was
consensual.) But I'm skeptical of your "wife & kids" because
I don't think anyone who could write a letter that faggy could procreate.
Also, while I'm in a mood: DROP THE CHRISTIANITY INFOMERCIAL! I don't know
what kind of church you go to, but mine was all about feeding the needy, and
that's why I left! I'm the needy now, Rev, and I'm hungry for a few million
nairas! Anyway, the less we know about each other, the better. If you need
a shoulder to cry, go bareback someone else.
Now on to matters: my name is Seamus Muldoon and my address in the U.S. of
motherfuckin' A. is: 4419 13th Ave, apt. 419, New York, NY 11009. My bank:
Retired Mall Cops Credit Union, based in St. Paul, MN.
talk to you soon, Seamus
ps -
do you IM (Instant Message)?
_____________________________________________________________
Franklin the Mad Poet
Standard Trust Bank
Plc, No 50 west ave Lagos state, Nigeria
Dear mccarthy,
I am an Accountant
with STANDARD TRUST BANK, My name is Mr Franklin Ezeobodo, I am the personal
Account Manager to Engineer A.mccarthy, a National of your country, who used
to work with Summit Oil company in Nigeria. On April 21, 2000, my client,
his wife, and their three children were involved in a car accident along Sagamu
express way. All occupants unfortunately lost their lives …… I have contacted
you to assist in reatriating the money left behind by my client … an account
Valued at ($85.2Million US Dollars) … what I needed from you is as follows:
full Name, Address, Contact Phone number, Age and Your status.
Best
Regards, Mr Franklin Ezeobodo. Phone:234-8036975992
Franklin-
I called that number you gave and got a busy signal. No biggie, though - my
phone plan includes Nigeria for only 15 cents a minute. (Hey, I just spent
5 minutes looking for the "cents" symbol on my keyboard - when did
they get rid of those? You don't have to answer that.) Anyway, you're not
gonna believe this but I ACTUALLY am A.mccarthy's NEXT OF KIN! So we don't
even have to bullshit the banks. (I didn't mean to imply you were a scammer,
it's just that you can't be too careful these days, right?) Yeah, Uncle A.
was a kind of a douche (he dry-humped my little brother) so we weren't close
and didn't find out about his pile-up until recently. It's a shame because
his daughter in the crash was really cool. Hot, too, but we were cousins so
it's not like we could act on it. This isn't Nigeria, you know what I'm saying!
Well, we were looking for an intermediary anyway so we might as well go with
you. You've got your own zipmail account, which is impressive. One thing,
though - in Uncle A.'s last Christmas BRAGGY-ass "look at me" letter
he claimed his assets topped $100 million, and you say it's only $85mil -
was he lying or did you skim some, you crafty bastard?
peace be with you, mccarthy
--------------------------------------
Hi Moody,
You are mad
to call me (you crafty bastard? peace be with you),Do I deposited fund with
Engineer A.Mccarthy? Why then are you asking me if there was some I had eaten.
I you the one that told me to contact you that this fund is here in Nigeria?
If I mean to eat it should I have contacted you? Is like you are a fool that
doesn't know anything. Calling me cratfy bastard? You are born bastard,blind-fool,No
wonder a snail is creeping with it's face. You white bat and zoo pig when
did you call my phone line and get it not? If you want to call me, Dial (009-234-8036975992)
you will get to me.
Thanks Franklin
Franklin-
What beautiful prose! Your words dance off the page like a back-up singer's
camel toe!
Your point is salient: had you been able to skim from Uncle A, you wouldn't
need me. Clearly he exaggerated his assets, and I apologize to question your
integrity. You are right to say "a snail is creeping with it's face".
(Although I believe you meant "its face". English rules regarding
possessive pronouns are very tricky, so don't beat yourself up over what was
otherwise a flawless email. And this by no means undermines your future as
a writer - a good editor will catch any errors.)
Thanks for calling me a "white bat and zoo pig" - you're not gonna
believe this, but that was my snooker nickname! I take that as a sign from
above that we were meant to be partners. Now let's put all the hostility and
grammatical errors and racism aside and go after Uncle A's nest egg! What
do you say, you filthy cattle rapist?!
- McCarthy
ps -
your momma so black they keep canaries in her
___________________________________________________________
Paul, the Activist/Wife-blamer
(After
I originally replied to this fella he emailed again but mistakenly addressed
me by another name):
Dear Sisneros,
Thanks for
your kind response. …I need you to bear the next of kin to the late David
Sisneros. Best regards, Barrister Paul Adeyemi (Esq).
Dear
Paul-
Have you lost your mind? Who the fuck is "Sisneros"? We're supposed
to be working on the David McCarthy estate! Are you 2-timing me? I'm very
concerned about this.
sincerely,
McCarthy
--------------------------------------
Dear Moody McCarthy,
Am also sorry
for what happen in my last my mail i sent to you due to my wife problem in
my office yesterday. Please let go ahead now. Having opened the door of mutual
business relationship between ourselves, we have to ensure to the fullest
that honesty, sincerity and transperency becomes our watch-word. ... I advise
you to keep my documents i sent to you absolutlely confidential as there are
my private documents that does not need to be exposed given my position as
a human right activist. The most important thing is for you to keep your mouth
and dont tell any body about it because i will present you to the bank as
the next of kin to my late client. Do contact me on my direct telephone number
234 80 33318143 to discuss further should you have questions. Finally, send
the application to the bank where the money is deposited, that is Union Bank
Nig. Plc. Hoping to hear from you urgently. Barrister Paul Adeyemi(Esq.)
*******************************************************
SEND THE APPLICATION BELOW TO THE BANK VIA EMAIL.
THE DIRECTOR INTERNATIONAL REMITTANCE DEPARTMENT UNION BANK OF NIGERIA PLC
TAURUS PLAZA, ELEGANZA BUILDING WHARF ROAD, APAPA, LAGOS-NIGERIA. FAX: 234-1-759519.
TEL: 234-1-471979. EMAIL:
Dear Sir, APPLICATION FOR ACCOUNT CLOSURE =========================================
I hereby apply for the closure of Account No.10009000016459 belonging to late
Mr. David McCarthy. I am the next of kin to the above aforementioned name.
And the beneficiary of the project fund which account Number is stated above.
I will in due time forward to your office on how and where I want the funds
in the account to be transferred to. The Attorney representing me in this
matter is Barrister Paul Adeyemi. Thank you for your anticipated co-operation.
Yours faithfully, Moody McCarthy. (Beneficiary/Next of Kin to Mr. David McCarthy).
Paul-
I figured your wife had something to do with those emails. Dang bitches! You
should go Saudi on her ass. Also, don't worry about your rep as a human rights
activist - let's just say you're looking out for us two humans' right to plasma
screen TVs.
Hey, here's my info you axed about: Cornbread McCarthy 4419 13th Ave, apt.
419, New York, NY 11009. My bank is: Retired Mall Cops Credit Union, based
in St. Paul, MN. And my birth date is TODAY!! Blow me a kiss, you nappy mofo!
I emailed the bank to give me that NAIRA, 'cause I DARE YA!
please know this, McCarthy
ps -
as for your last question: yes, I do Yahoo!
pps -
I might come to Lagos for Spring Break, dude!
---------------------------------
Dear McCarthy,
Thanks for
your mail, please can you send me your phone number so that i can talk to
you regarding this transaction, before will can go ahead. Waiting to hear
from you.
My regards, Barrister Paul Adeyemi.
Barrister-
My phone number is #23. (Just like the great Michael Jordan!)
call me, wench
----------------------------------------------
(He addresses
me mistakenly a second time)
Dear David Sisneros,
Top of the
days, i am still waiting to hear from you.
My regards, Barrister Paul Adeyemi
This
ain't Sisneros, Adeyemi, this is McCarthy! It's right in my email address!
Is your cunt wife in your office again? Mrs. Adeyemi, if you're reading
this: stay the fuck off Paul's computer!
-----------------------
Dear Moody McCarthy,
Thanks for
your mail, all i needed from you is your phone number i need to talk to you
on phone before we can go ahead of these transactions, please kindly send
me your number as soon as possible. Have you heard from the bank? Waiting
to hear from you.
My regards, Barrister Paul Adeyemi.
Paul-
Hey, man, I don't know how to tell you this, but I told the bank I'm gonna
handle the transaction on my own. No hard feelings, it's just that your wife
keeps f'ing up things. Get that B under control and maybe we can do business.
- mccarthy
ps -
Do barristers wear those goofy white wigs? You must look precious riding your
bike to the internet cafe with that on.
______________________________________________________________
Judey Jude
FROM:Jude Esiaka
(ESQ) Louis Mbanefo & Associates,711 C,Close Attorney,s Ave, Festac Town
Lagos - Nigeria.
Dear Mccarthy,
I am Barrister
Jude Esiaka ,the Personal Attorney to Mr Larry Mccarthy, … to present you
as the next of kin to the deceased so that the proceeds of this $20 million
dollars can be paid to you and then you and i can share the money. 55% to
me and 40% to you, while 5% should be for expenses or tax as your government
may require,…
Best regards
Barrister.Jude Esiaka
Hey,
Jude-
Don't make it bad. Take a sad song, and make it better. (< That's the Beatles!
I'm not sure they splashed in Nigeria, but it's moot now anyway because they're
half deceased. Darn the luck, Ringo is gonna outlive them all.)
Nigeria has some shite roads, huh? McCarthys are wiping out left & right.
Anyway, I'd love to pose as a next of kin, but I have a question: why didn't
you email me from your "secure and confidential email address" to
begin with? Now you're asking me type it in myself instead of just hitting
"reply". And then you're only offering 40% of the $20 mil? F that!
If I have to type in your other address then I want 50%! That's my "2
million dollar extra typing" surcharge, Judey.
But to show good faith, here is my info you axed for:
Sen.
Joe McCarthy
3519
International Court, NW Washington, DC 20008
Tel:
(202) 986-8400 Fax: (202) 775-1385 {<Nigerian Embassy}
age:
38 occupation: minstrel
As for identification, I'm 5'11" and circumcised.
yours, Sen. Joe
ps -
Remember to let her into your heart. Then you can start to make it better
----------------------------------
Dear Sen. Joe McCarthy,
Thanks from
your information i have forwarded your information to the finance house keep
me posted as soon as the finance house contact you. Finally, please call me
with this number +2348034347423 as soon as you receive this email.
Regards,
Barrister Jude Esiaka
Judey-
I noticed your email address is "bar_jude_esiaka10" - are there
really 9 other bar_jude_esiakas? Is "Esiaka" a common name? I bet
in your family it is, huh? I grew up in a house full of "McCarthys"
- it was so confusing, we used to have to call each other by our FIRST names!
Hey, I tried to dial your number but I can't find the "+" button
on my phone. Is that a Nigerian thing? (By the way, shouldn't Niger change
its name? That must be one confusing border. Maybe they had the name first
and you're the pricks. Somebody has a good copyright lawsuit.)
The finance house still hasn't called! Do you think they hate me? Maybe
I shouldn't have mentioned the circumcision? I won't mention my teste that
didn't descend.
love always,
Sen. Joe
PS -
Do you instant message? Can I be your online friend?
----------------------------------------
UCO BANK
Head Office,
International Wing
10, Brabourne Road, Kolkata - 700 001
West Bengal, India.
Branch Office,
40/41 Uco Ave, Plot 401,
Lagos, Nigeria.
TEL: + 001- 234 - 1 – 8121432 FAX: + 001- 234 - 1 - 759 0407
Website: http://www.ucobank.com
EMAIL: ucobank@mail2banker.com
Date:
19 / 03 / 2005.
SUBJECT:
YOUR OUTSTANDING FUNDS TRANSFER OF USD$20 MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS.
ATTN:
MR. MOODY MCCARTHY(NEXT OF KIN)
LATE: MR. LARRY MCCARTHY
LAWYER: JUDE ESIAKA(ATTORNEY)
Sir,
This is to inform you that we are in receipt of your funds to the tune of
(USD$20 Million United States Dollars) from Uco Bank, Federal Government of
Nigeria, Federal Ministry of Finance and Federal High Court of Justice in
Federal Republic of Nigeria.
You are also required to provide our Verification:
YOUR FULL NAME.YOUR CONTACT ADDRESS.YOUR BANK NAME DETAILS.A COPY OF YOUR
DRIVER'S LICENSE.CERTIFICATE OF DEPOSIT.A COPY OF LETTER OF ADMINISTRATION.A
COPY OF AN AFFIDAVIT OF TRUE NEXT OF KIN.
Thank you for
your anticipated co-operation.
Yours Sincerely, Dr. Ashok Kumar Lahiri.
Director Uco Bank, Nigeria Branch.
(I 2-time
him by emailing the bank. Never heard from either again)
Dear
Dr. Lahiri -
Jude Esiaka no longer acts on my behalf. I hate him. I will act as my own
counsel on the transfer of funds - all dang $20 million - from Larry McCarthy's
account.
sincerely, Moody McCarthy
Jude-
The bank contacted me! I couldn't believe it! Me! Nothing like this has
ever happened to me, but - by golly - the finance house came through! (I
won't tell them about my teste, I swear.)
Hey, I write songs. Let me know what you think of this one, and be TOTALLY
honest:
The sun
hates me/The moon berates me
Because
my girlie/Says she's late, see?
Like it? It's alright if you don't. Just let me know.
love to the family (even the illegitimate ones), McCarthy
______________________________________________________________
Honorable James
Attn My:Dear,
I am Advocate
(Barrister James) and a solicitor at law and a human right activist here
in Benin. …. My late client (Mr.George) did not write any will before he died
with his family in the fierceful auto crash. … next of kin to the deceased
and I will submit them to this bank on your behalf ...Am waiting for your
urgent response. Thanks and God bless your family.
My regards to your family,
Hon. James Oruma Esq.
Jimmy-
Is this legal? If not, I'm in.
- your dear
(I attached
my headshot) ps
- Am I hot or not?
----------------------------------
I receive your mail
the contents are invalued. try to valuedate your mail. Am not understand by
Is this legal? If not, I'm in. your dear ps - Am I hot or not? Am waiting
to hear from you.
Best wishes, Hon. James Oruma Esq
Dear
"Barrister James"-
I notice that your address is at "latinmail.com", a site
targeting Hispanics. Are there many Spanish in Benin, a former French colony?
Also, you don't address me by name and your deceased client is "Mr.
George" - have you done much legwork here? Or are you just "emailing
it in", so to speak? Luckily for you, I have soft spot for Barristers
because they raised me (my birth mother left me on the doorstep of an internet
cafe). Here's my contact info - please call me soon: Dr. Moody Okoye, (202)
986-8400, ext. 419.
-----------------------------
Dear Dr. Moody,
I receive
your mail this money and the contents are well noted. Are you able to excute
me in this transaction or not. You have to be very assidious so that every
thing shuold go smothly and easyly. You phone contact: Accout number: Fax
number Age: Reguard to your family. Am waiting to hear from you so that our
conrrespondace will rythme.
Best wishes, Hon.James Oruma Esq.
Honorable
Barrister James-
This is your lucky day, because you emailed the most assidious motherfucker
ever. And if you're looking for someone who's "assiduous", you're
still lucky, because I'm that, too. I'm all both, my little Nubian rube!
Here is my contact info (< short for "information")
Tel:
(202) 986-8400, ext 419
Fax:
(202) 775-1385
age:
35 (but I can play 25-29)
acct
#419419419 (my password, if they ask for it - AND THEY'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO
- is "Santorum")
peace, love & understanding,
Dr. Moody
-------------------------------------------------
Dear Moody,
I receive
your mail and the contents are invalued. I don't know what you mean by motherfucker,
ext 419. Am confuse when read your messenge.I have a question.Are you able
to excute me in this transaction or not? Make up your mind in this business
transaction .Please i don't want any insult ok.I am a barrister if you don't
want to excute me just tell me and i will looking for another business partner.
Am waiting to hear from you so that our conrrespondace will rythme.
Best wishes, Hon.James Oruma Esq.
B.J.
(for "Barrister James", not "Blow Job")-
Let's rythme, just like you say:
I'm in
Like
Flynn
Let's
bilk
a Nigerian!
yours,
Moody
ps -
I'm sorry if you were insulted. I feel so bad that I won't feed my goldfish
for 14 days.
_______________________________________
The Self-Absorbed Barrister Billy
WILLIAMS CHAMBERS
BARRISTER WILLIAMS MUSUMBA (SAN) LEGAL PRACTITIONER, SOLICITOR & ADVOCATE
LAGOS NIGERIA
Dear McCarthy,
I am Barr.
Williams Musumba (SAN), personal attorney to Engineer Robert McCarthy, who
used to work with Osusu Construction Company Nig. ltd. here in Nigeria ...
My client with his family were involved in the bomb explosion in Lagos, Nigeria,
on January 27th, 2002 … my client and the family lost their lives in that
disaster that needed not to have happened. … My purpose of contacting you
is to assist in repatriating the fund Estate)left behind … an account valued
at about US$10.4 million… You can find informations about the January 27th,
2002 Bomb Explosion on the website below. http://www.disasterrelief.org/Disasters/020130Lagos3/
Please get back to me through my email address for further discussion.
Best regards,Barr. Williams Musumba (SAN).
Billy-
You're not gonna believe this, but I'm an attorney here in the States, and
one of my clients is (was) Frederick Musumba, a national of YOUR country who
was employed in the diamond biz. Unfortunately, he & his family were
killed at a petting zoo. He had no other family (that he liked), so his estate
- 1,295,000,000 naira - will revert to the bank unless you want to pose as
next of kin. If you do, we'll split the money 60/60. Email me back or contact
me at work: Tel: (202) 986-8400 ; Fax: (202) 775-1385
blessed love to your loins, mccarthy
------------------------------
Dear Moody McCarthy,
Thanks for
your mail received today and the content noted. ..What I really needed is
your total commitment to see that fund is finally transferred into your account
to avoid depositing the fund at the finance company's suspense account as
unclaimed fund. Well it might interest you to know that I made a promise to
my late client at the hospital before he died, which is to make sure that
you receive the fund. His death came to me as a big shock because not only
did he die in that fire explosion alone, but with his entire family. Note
that the company might not be happy that you are coming for the repatriation
of the fund into your account as the next of kin, and you might be receiving
similar mails just to spoil your mind from pursuing the transfer of the fund
into your account. … I need your contact address, phone and fax numbers …
Get back to
me immediately you receive this mail for more briefings regarding the process
of the transfer. I await your reply.
Best
regards, Barr. Williams Musumba(SAN).
Billy-
Did you even read my email? I need YOUR banking info, Barrister guy. Just
because your client died more dramatically and your story has deathbed promises
doesn't mean that you're more important. It doesn't.
feeling yucky, McCarthy
